5 Common Synastry Misconceptions Debunked
From an Unpublished Notebook by Dawn Bodrogi
Sometimes, astrology can feel like one giant game of telephone that stretches from the past to the present. We think we hear what’s being said, but the messages get garbled along the way until the true meaning is lost. The internet has a very loud voice, and in our quest for instant answers, bad information is often taken as blind truth. Here are some of the most common synastry misconceptions that float around relationship astrology, for better or worse.
1. The ‘Other’ is Always Represented by the Seventh House
It’s common for us to immediately look at the seventh house for answers when we fall for someone. But if a relationship isn’t serious or committed, you must also look at the fifth house. The fifth house is where we learn to play, have fun, and take chances. A packed fifth house can indicate a person more inclined to just have fun than to commit. The eleventh house, opposite the fifth, can also be involved, suggesting a person who prefers to keep things on a friendship level. A committed partnership is a seventh house relationship.
2. Beware of Hard Aspects
We’re all taught to be wary of hard aspects like squares and oppositions. But a conjunction is also considered a hard aspect, and sometimes it can be impulsive, willful, and conflicted. While a Venus-Moon trine may flow smoothly, a Mars-Pluto or even Mercury-Saturn conjunction can create tension. But this stimulation is what we all need to grow in a relationship. An overabundance of easy aspects like trines and sextiles can lead to boredom and complacency. Hard aspects between charts provide the stimulus for growth and push us to open our hearts and eyes.
3. Good Venus/Mars Connections Tell Us Everything We Need to Know About Our Sex Lives
This is a major misconception. While Venus represents how we express and receive love and Mars is about action and desire, they are not the be-all-end-all of sex. Moon/Mars can be hotter, and Mars/Pluto can indicate an even more intense connection. The most important thing is to analyze the individual natal charts for their capacity for love and caring exchange. If a person has problems with sexual relating in their own chart, no positive Venus/Mars aspect will be able to transcend that difficulty in the long run.
4. Composite Charts Show How We Relate to One Another
This is wrong from the get-go. A composite chart is not about the exchange of energy between two people. They are about the energy, or aura, that we give off together. A composite chart will show you how a relationship operates as an entity, not how one partner’s Pluto affects another’s Moon. For example, if a relationship has a Moon/Pluto conjunction in the composite chart, the couple’s feelings together will be intense and transformative. This is a subtle and crucial distinction for understanding your relationship as a whole. You can learn more in our article about the Moon in Composite Charts.
5. All Planets Are Equal
Early on in our astrological learning, we tend to compare charts using endless lists of aspects, from every sesquiquadrate to every semi-sextile. But not all planets and aspects are equal. While every connection has some meaning, the most important aspects are those involving the key planets and the chart rulers. The explosive on-again, off-again nature of a relationship can often be traced back to the most dominant planets and aspects, such as a square to the Ascendant/Descendant axis from Pluto or Uranus, not a minor, remote connection.
By looking past these common synastry misconceptions, you can begin to see the relationship more clearly, in all of its fascinating and complex shades of gray.
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