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Saturn’s recent ingress into Sagittarius brings a fresh awareness of its effect on your relationships. While Saturn transits can present challenges for your love life, this planet also crystallizes things. Read on for an overview of general pointers to deal with Saturn aspects to your relationship planets. Note that “relationship planets” refers to your Venus and Mars, but also any natal planets that rule your 1st or 7th House cusps, or are located in your 1st, 4th, 5th, 7th or 8th Houses. Also, Saturn moving into these houses, or making a hard aspect to your North or South Nodes, can impact your love life. This information is not sign specific, but I wrote this article about Saturn in Sag’s impact on the Fire signs, and this article on what it will do for the Mutable signs.
Not Getting What You Want
When people see a Saturn transit coming, what they dread most is a big, fat “No.” While this is not always the case, Saturn in hard aspect (conjunction, opposition, square or inconjunct) to a relationship planet, angle or Node can put a damper on things. Saturn’s limits create definition, which means that all non-essentials will be unavailable.
How this will work depends on your chart and current situation. Transiting Saturn in hard aspect to your Venus can make it difficult to attract someone if you’re single and looking. If you’re in a relationship, a hard aspect can deny you the attention you want from your partner. This may indicate a bigger problem in the relationship, or it may just be the reality of your situation; maybe your partner has to travel for work and is physically absent during this transit. Single or involved, you’re liable to feel lonely, less than desirable, and lacking whatever your natal Venus wants (attention, cuddles, gifts, help, compassion). Saturn in hard aspect to your Mars can restrict your efforts (Mars is action) to meet someone and/or put a damper on your energy level and sex drive. Again, this could be indicative of a personal issue, or it could reflect external factors that have nothing to do with your relationship; you could be so busy at work that you’re too exhausted to make any romantic efforts.
Whatever restrictions you encounter, the key is identifying where you’re blocked, what you’re missing, or what you cannot have. Saturn’s denial pushes you to take responsibility for what you want. This is (usually) not a time when you can turn to others, so you need to provide what’s missing for yourself, or, if that’s not possible, reassess your wants and needs. If you’re in a dry dating spell, you can work on strengthening/improving whatever areas transiting Saturn is impacting (the house it’s transiting through and the planet it’s aspecting). If your partner is not able to be there for you, you’ll have to be self-sufficient/self-nurturing for that period of time. If the relationship is in trouble, Saturn’s focus will point out the area that needs to be assessed.
All Saturn transits respond to (and often demand) increased effort and discipline on your part. Saturn aspects to your Sun demand that you work on your ego/self-confidence, rather than look to someone else for appreciation. Saturn aspects to your Moon (which can trigger depression and withdrawal) throw you back into yourself so you focus on what you really need. The worst thing you can do is expect someone else to provide what you’re missing. Chances are, they can’t/won’t, or, whatever they offer won’t satisfy you.
The Pressure of Getting What You Want
Yes, sometimes Saturn can deliver the goods. A marriage, the birth of a child, a new relationship with an older partner, or partner that puts significant obligations on you (maybe they fall ill, or they have children). When hard Saturn aspects accompany a happy event, it means said event will dump extra responsibilities on your shoulders.
Transiting Saturn making hard aspects to your Nodes can bring a heavy, karmic relationship. There’s usually a feeling of obligation (based on past-life dynamics). As strong as the attraction is, you may question if you’re ready for the extra responsibility. Maybe your new partner wants a Big White Wedding with all the fixings, but you just want to live together. Or your new partner loses their job and you end up supporting both of you. Sometimes the birth of a child can be heralded by transiting Saturn in your 5th House (of children) aspecting your planet(s). You’re getting what you want, but in some way your freedom is being limited. In some cases it’s a no-brainer; of course you’re going to give up some freedom to care for your child. But sometimes the responsibilities of a new relationship are way more than you bargained for, and you decide to walk away. (I’m referring to a romantic relationship, not the responsibilities of having a child). In the end, the choice is yours. You’re not expected to stay in a relationship that makes you miserable, just because “Saturn says so.” Transiting Saturn can show you what you don’t want.
Saturn as Support
Easy aspects from Saturn (trines and sextiles) can be overlooked, but this would be a mistake. While not enough to trigger a new relationship on their own, these supportive aspects can provide essential underpinnings for new developments. If other aspects trigger a new relationship, and Saturn is making a harmonious sextile to your Venus, that’s a very good sign that the new attraction has keeper potential. It shows that you’re ready for some kind of commitment, and you’re being realistic. Easy aspects from Saturn give you a shot of sobriety and reality, without the overwhelming pressure.
If you’re unhappily single, or your relationship is on shaky ground, harmonious aspects from Saturn can be what you turn to for support. Saturn aspecting your Moon can bolster your emotional stability and resilience. Saturn aspecting your Mars can keep you focused on what actions are needed to get through the rough patch, either with your partner or by yourself. You’re being given the tools to take care of yourself, but unlike the hard Saturn aspects, it’s a suggestion, not a demand.
Above all, any aspect from Saturn that impacts your love life will confront you with reality. It may be a hardcore confrontation, or a gentle nudge. But you can bet that whatever develops is the real deal.