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Most people who are into astrology understand that South Node contacts are about the past, and North Node contacts are about the future. But there’s an oversimplification of synastric Nodal contacts: the idea that South Node contacts are “bad” and must eventually be left behind, while North Node contacts automatically guarantee a relationship. It’s never this black-and-white.
Understanding the North and South Nodes
The South Node is where you’re coming from. It represents past life situations, and what you bring into this life. It is the place where past life and current life intersect; many clients have told me that my descriptions of their past lives match their childhood experiences. The house, sign and planetary ruler of your South Node describe who you are, as well as your natural talents. The idea that it’s negative comes from the fact that if you don’t progress beyond your South Node, you’ll remain stuck in your comfort zone. Growth lies beyond the South Node, but that doesn’t mean you can deny it. You cannot simply amputate its energy. Can you deny your childhood? Everything that has come before makes you who you are now, and who you will be.
Your path forward is marked by your North Node. That’s what you’re aiming for in order to reach your full potential. Since the North and South Nodes are directly opposite each other (on the same axis) there’s no way you can sever the two. You build on your South Node to reach your North Node. A helpful way to look at this interplay is that the South Node represents what’s culminating in your life, while the North Node is your next step.
Nodes and Synastry
When a person’s planets/angles conjunct your South Node, there is usually a strong pull to be together, along with the sense that you’ve always known each other. The two of you are reconnecting to wrap up unfinished, past life business. There are countless ways the relationship can play out. Sometimes the past life connection was particularly unpleasant, and so is the connection in this life. As I described in this post, you don’t need to follow up on every South Node contact that crosses your path. Other South Node partners can hold you back if they are not interested in moving forward with their lives. But despite the fact that the past life issues between you are probably less-than-pleasant (if everything had worked out there would be no reason for you to reconnect) not all South Node contacts are negative.
Some South Node partners can help you work through your comfort zone issues. For example, Amy’s Venus conjunct your Virgo South Node suggests mutual love/attraction that is focused on perfection. Getting stuck in your South Node would mean getting caught in the Virgo gerbil wheel of nitpicking, mutual criticism and worrying. But Virgo wants to improve, and that means moving forward. And isn’t forward the way to reach your North Node in Pisces? If Amy is just as interested in evolving as you are, she can help, via her desire (Venus) to make things better (Virgo). Together, you move towards the Pisces energy of releasing what you can’t control. Or, cultivating an attitude of faith over pessimism. The specifics are indicated by the house your South Node is in, and the house/sign where Mercury, your South Node ruler, is located. You approach this in a Virgo manner, making it a project, creating a spreadsheet, etc. But the point is, Amy’s love triggers your South Node energy, which is the fuel to reach your North Node.
If South Node contacts have magnetic familiarity, North Node contacts are also magnetic, but feel awkward or challenging. The North Node is brand new territory, and a partner who activates it will personify that new territory. This can still be a past life contact (since their planet is opposing your South Node) but this person is meant to pull you forward. They have something to teach you about where you need to go. However, just because their planet or angle conjuncts your North Node does not mean that the relationship will work out, or that’s it’s even meant to be a relationship.
Sometimes the North Node person is there to draw your attention to what you can be, and that’s the extent of their involvement in your life. Let’s say Avi’s Saturn conjuncts your Aries North Node. Your South Node is in Libra (ruled by Venus), so your habitual behavior probably involves emphasizing the desires of others. Your Aries North Node (ruled by action planet Mars) says that your path forward involves putting yourself first, or initiating based on your wants and needs. Again, look to the house position of your North Node, and the house/sign that Mars sits in for more details. Since a North Node/Saturn contact usually involves lessons about taking responsibility and dealing with restrictions, it’s possible that you want to be in a relationship with Avi, but he’s not available. Perhaps he walks away, because he finds your Libra people-pleasing habits a turnoff. Maybe you fold yourself into the paperdoll version of what you think he wants, only to have him tell you that you seem fake. That’s harsh, but it also propels you towards your North Node.
A Saturn/North Node contact will not always go down this way. And some North Node contacts can develop into major, life-altering relationships. But often the person contacting your North Node brings difficult lessons, because they propel you into uncharted territory. Avi was never meant to be your partner, he was simply your North Node catalyst. Since you’re building on your South Node, you walk away from this having learned to take responsibility (Saturn) for your role in a partnership (Libra). That means responsibility for who you really are. You learn to attract the type of partner you want, by putting your true self front and center.
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