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Scorpio has a reputation for dark sexuality, intensity, secrecy and power. Being in a relationship with this sign can be overwhelming at times, and you may wonder if you can give them everything they want. The good news is, if a Scorpio has chosen you as their lover, you’re halfway there (they don’t partner up with just anyone). But there can still be draining moments, as you navigate their demands for truth while dealing with their control issues.
The key to Scorpio behavior is understanding their desires for survival and transformation. The push for absolute intimacy is how they get to know you. The more they know about you, the safer they feel — that’s how they survive. But Scorpio also goes through gradual, powerful changes. Stagnation is poison to this sign, so they push their limits (and yours) as they explore; they go deep to move forward. There’s also a difference in how various personal planets act in Scorpio, which can dictate how you might approach the demands of your Scorpio lover.
Sun in Scorpio
Ego and conscious will are expressed through the Scorpio lens. Depending on what house and sign their Venus and Mars are in, a Scorpio Sun may not fit the sexual napalm stereotype. But they will express their Scorpio energy in relationships. This means they’ll demand your absolute honesty and fidelity, while offering their own in return. Scorpio Sun will also fixate on certain subjects (including you).
Telling your Scorpio Sun to “relax” when they’re in obsessive mode will accomplish nothing. They need to know everything about their target. A high degree of transparency on your part can ease their minds. On the other hand, Scorpio respects strength. Decide which of your boundaries are sacred, then stick to them when Sun in Scorpio tries to strip-mine you for information. A healthy Scorpio won’t try to bully or manipulate you, if you clearly state your limits.
Moon in Scorpio
Depending on their Sun sign, a Scorpio Moon is not always obvious. The Moon represents instinctive needs, so it’s in the background. Scorpio Moon is so private that you can sometimes forget this partner is still a Scorpio (especially if their Sun is in a light and airy sign). But no matter what their Sun sign is, no Scorpio Moon will be satisfied with a connection that skims the surface. Moon in Scorpio is also moody. These are not the fast-moving squalls of a Cancer Moon, or the foot-stomping of a Leo Moon. Scorpio Moons will quietly simmer for long periods. Often, their mood will have nothing to do with you; they have a private heart of darkness to which they periodically retreat. Scorpio paranoia can also be pronounced because the Moon is not logical. Scorpio’s conviction that there is always more going on beneath the surface will leak out. If you innocently say X or do Y, your Scorpio Moon partner will demand proof, or want to know what you meant by that.
The best way to deal with a Scorpio Moon is to be patient, and not take their moods personally. When they withdraw, it’s a necessary part of their regenerative process. If you’ve done something to hurt them, they will let you know, but it will be on their schedule. You’ll need to get comfortable with emotional transparency (even if your Scorpio partner holds part of themselves back). If this seems unfair, know that the rewards of being in a relationship with a Scorpio Moon include having an emotional rock to lean on. They can provide endless support, and withstand crises that would make most people crumble.
Venus in Scorpio
Venus in Scorpio folks will give you everything. When the planet of relationships is in all-or-nothing Scorpio, love is expressed without reservation. Scorpio selectiveness is still in play (these people don’t fall for just anyone). But when Venus in Scorpio decides you’re the one for them, look out. Their love is all-encompassing, and they demand the same from you. Being involved with Venus in Scorpio can be draining, especially if they feel that you’re not giving them an adequate amount of attention/affection. You should also expect varying degrees of jealousy and possessiveness (Venus in Scorpio does not like to share). On the positive side, you’ll have a sensual partner who will focus on you, and you alone.
If you like your relationships light and easy, this is not the partner for you. Venus in any sign is not just about how love is given, it’s about what’s desired in return. So be prepared to give, and not just sweet words or sparkly gifts. Venus in Scorpio wants proof behind the words, and intimacy behind the gifts. Because Scorpio is the sign of transformation, they also want a partner who is evolving. Relationship growth is a must, but it’s usually triggered by a crisis or dramatic event. These people enjoy the deep stuff, and that involves the exploration of issues that you may find unpleasant. Not that a relationship with Venus in Scorpio will involve a crisis-per-day — there can be months of stability. But eventually, the time will come when your Venus in Scorpio partner will be compelled to face their Shadow (or your Shadow). They don’t consider a relationship to be worthwhile unless you both journey into the Underworld, then emerge stronger (because you’ve been welded together by the heat of adversity).
Mars in Scorpio
When the planet of aggression and sex sits in the sign of intimacy, certain urges become very… pronounced. Mars in Scorpio people will not advertise this, but you can get an idea by observing how they take action; they’ll be focused and relentless. These adjectives apply to their sex lives as well. Sex is not a game for Mars in Scorpio, and they’ll want to stretch the limits. With you. This can be the most demanding of all the Scorpio planetary placements. They can also be pushy and controlling, especially if they feel threatened.
As with Venus in Scorpio, if you want an easy relationship, this probably isn’t the partner for you. Cuddles, conversations and shared activities can certainly enhance intimacy for the Mars in Scorpio lover. But sex (with a raw edge) is the doorway that leads to the type of union they crave. If you have hang-ups or hesitations about pushing yourself in the bedroom, you’ll be confronted by your Mars in Scorpio partner. Your best approach is to be as fearless (and honest) as possible, while maintaining firm boundaries. Similar to Sun in Scorpio, Mars in Scorpio respects a partner who pushes back. They need someone who challenges them at the deepest possible level.
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