Credit: mediaphotos via iStockphoto
Romantic compatibility is about more than Sun signs. However, there are certain signs who get together and appear to be full-on incompatible. How is it possible for two radically different expressions of ego and purpose (which is what a Sun sign is) to coexist in a relationship? What draws them together in the first place? Most people know that you have to look at the entire charts of both parties, and this article is not suggesting otherwise. But Sun sign compatibility does play a role in how two people will get along in a romantic partnership.
The three considerations for sign compatibility are element, modality and polarity. A sign’s element describes its orientation to the outside world: intuition (Fire), emotion (Water) sensation (Earth) or intellect (Air). A sign’s modality describes how it deals with challenges: initiate a response (Cardinal), pull back and ponder (Fixed) or explore various options (Mutable). Polarity is about an introverted (feminine/ Yin) or extroverted (masculine/Yang) approach; the Air and Fire signs are considered masculine (even Libra) and the Earth and Water signs are feminine (even Capricorn).
I’m not going to address the most common “incompatible” combinations (signs that square and oppose each other). Much has been written about how two signs that square each other create interesting/sexy tension, and we all know that opposites attract. Although they belong to different elements, opposite signs have the same modalities and polarities. For example, Gemini and Sagittarius are both Mutable and masculine. So they’re really not that different. And signs that square each other share the same modalities (Taurus and Leo are both Fixed).
But there are Sun sign couples that seem to share absolutely nothing, and yet they still form relationships.
Romantic Alchemy: Signs That Inconjunct Each Other
These signs have nothing in common, but they are still connected by a 150 degree aspect (the inconjunct or Quincunx). The key word for this aspect is “adjustment.” The signs speak different languages, so each one must adjust its expression so it can get along with the other. This creates a huge amount of uneasiness between two people. Here are all the inconjunct pairs:
Aries/Virgo
Aries/Scorpio
Taurus/Libra
Taurus/Sagittarius
Gemini/Scorpio
Gemini/Capricorn
Cancer/Sagittarius
Cancer/Aquarius
Leo/Capricorn
Leo/Pisces
Virgo/Aquarius
Libra/Pisces
You can make a compatibility case for some of these pairs (Taurus and Libra are both ruled by Venus, Aries is ruled by Scorpio’s traditional ruler — Mars), but for the most part, these signs don’t blend easily. Each pair combines a different element, modality and polarity. Their orientation, approach to problem solving and masculine/feminine energies are totally different. And yet … the Quincunx is a powerful aspect. The “problem” that it brings up between two Sun signs demands a solution. The road to that solution is long, with much back and forth between the signs as each learns to accommodate the other.
Why Would They Be Drawn to Each Other?
The Quincunx is associated with alchemy, a process in which two materials are combined and refined to create a third material. Such is the promise of the Quincunx: after all the struggle and frustrations between partners, there is the potential to create something special. Perhaps (due to other issues in their charts) these people are up for, or need, the challenge. Note that a technical inconjunct between two Suns is strongest with an orb of 1-2 degrees (for example, partner A’s Sun at 10 degrees Aries would be inconjunct parter B’s Sun at 11 degrees Virgo).
How Can They Make it Work?
Get creative. Ordinary rules do not apply with an inconjunct. Looking at the Aries/Virgo example, Aries is Cardinal, masculine, Fire. Virgo is Mutable, feminine, Earth. Aries will get impatient with Virgo’s worrying and OCD habits. Virgo will get stressed and flustered with Aries’ bluntness and pushiness. Each couple is different, so the ways they choose to cope will vary, but an agreement will have to be found. Perhaps Virgo can back off and leave Aries alone when she senses he’s about to lose his temper. Aries can initiate a break from Virgo when needed, then keep moving forward from their disagreement (Aries doesn’t dwell on things). The signs are not totally changing their nature, but they are adjusting. The end result (the result of the alchemy) can be a dynamic, fast-moving relationship that combines Aries’ action with Virgo’s analysis.
Romancing Your Neighbor: Signs That Semi-Sextile Each Other
Signs that sit side-by-side form an aspect of 30 degrees, called a semi-sextile. I won’t list them all here, but the signs immediately before and after another sign make a semi-sextile. For example, Gemini and Leo both semi-sextile Cancer. Once again, totally different elements, modalities and polarities.
Why Would They Be Drawn to Each Other?
Unlike signs that inconjunct each other, these signs do have a connection: their proximity to each other. From Aries (the 1st sign of the Zodiac) to Pisces (the 12th sign) each sign represents part of a larger cycle of development. One leads to the next, and each sign builds on the previous one. So it’s possible that two Sun signs (who are neighbors) would be drawn to each other because one needs to experience the next stage of development. And the other needs a reminder of what came previously. Also, because these signs sit so close to each other, one partner’s Sun may have moved forward (by progression) to conjunct the other partner’s natal Sun and trigger the relationship.
How Can They Make it Work?
Approach the relationship as a natural progression (for the first sign) and a reminder of what your energies are built on (for the second sign). Let’s look at Libra and Scorpio. Libra (the 7th sign) comes first. The Libra partner would be all about harmony, balance and making nice. Libra also abhors anything that is ugly or unpleasant. Scorpio (the 8th sign) takes Libra’s relationship know-how and goes a step deeper, into the shadows of raw intimacy. So the Libra partner could progress to a richer, deeper awareness via the relationship with Scorpio. The Scorpio partner could be reminded that intimacy (Scorpio) still requires tact and diplomacy (Libra) so people don’t end up eviscerating each other.
The Rest of the Story
It’s an odds on bet that a couple with one of the above pairings will have other planets (in their synastry) that are compatible. For example, our Aries/Virgo couple may both have Water sign Moons; when things get tense, they can find release through their emotional bond. Or maybe our Libra/Scorpio couple both have Mars in Capricorn; the way they take action (and their sex drives) will be similar. Working with incompatible Sun signs is only the first step. You need to locate the harmonious connections elsewhere in the charts, and use them as support. Note that house position will have a significant impact as well. If we have a Sagittarius/Capricorn couple, with the Sag Sun in the natal 10th House of career, the energy between these signs becomes a bit more balanced. Bohemian Sag’s purpose and ego is expressed via career and future goals, giving him a commonality with his business-like Cap partner.
When it comes to Sun sign compatibility, it may help to approach the topic as no sign being totally incompatible with another. Even the oddest matches can find a connection, through their Suns, and through the rest of their charts. Of course, there is no guarantee that the relationship will work out, but that will be due to multiple factors (not just the Sun signs).
Related Posts: