Good in Bed: the Astrology of a Great Lover

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What makes a great lover? More importantly, can you tell if someone’s good in bed by looking at their natal chart? Keeping in mind that all natal potential is just that (potential), there are some aspects between natal planets which increase the flow of sexual and emotional energy. However, “good in bed” is a very subjective term. One person’s turn-on is another person’s shudder of distaste. The descriptions below are only suggestions: if you think I’ve missed one (or if you disagree with one of the aspects mentioned), feel free to leave a comment.

Although the condition of the entire natal chart (thoughts, emotions, habits, health, boundaries) will impact how someone approaches physical intimacy, Venus and Mars are the main players. Mars represents the initiation and pursuit of physical desires. Venus represents the awareness of another’s needs, and self-esteem/self-love. Note that I haven’t mentioned planets in the signs; there’s a section on this site that describes Venus/Mars in all the signs. Also, while the quality of a sign (and how a planet’s energy is expressed through it) must be kept in mind,  the descriptions in this article can be applied to planets in any sign. There is no particular sign that makes a better lover; all signs manifest their energies in ways that work for (and against) great sex. These descriptions can be read for straight or same-sex couples. In the case of a same-sex couple, Mars would represent the partner with more male energy, and Venus would signify the partner with more female energy.

Natal Venus in Aspect to Natal Mars: Dialed In

When the planets of sex (Mars) and love (Venus) aspect each other in the natal chart, it creates enthusiasm for sex (and relationships). Sex is important, magnetism is high, and attraction to the partner is expressed without reservation. Harmonious aspects (trine, sextile and conjunction) create the smoothest energy: the sex drive blends naturally with the way love or affection is expressed. These people have an instinctive understanding of how to satisfy you. The square and opposition can indicate someone who is a “hot” partner: the tension of the difficult aspects creates a passionate lover, but without the intensity of a Pluto contact. You get high-energy (this is, not a lazy lover) but no Pluto-induced darkness that might scare you away. However, the tense aspects can also make these lovers agressive (perhaps too agressive for some people).

Natal Mars in Aspect to Natal Neptune and/or the Moon and Chiron: Dream Come True

Here’s your dream lover. These aspects seem to be particularly effective in the charts of men (or the masculine partner in the relationship). Neptune adds psychic sensitivity to Mars’ sex drive, creating a lover who can tune into what you desire. Neptune also dissolves boundaries, so these lovers can be wonderfully open, but still quite gentle (even refined). Add an aspect to the natal Moon (emotions) and you have someone who feels what you need, before you’re even aware of it. They’re firing on all levels: physical (Mars), psychic/spiritual (Neptune) and emotional (Moon). On occasion, hard aspects (conjunction, square, opposition) between Mars and Neptune can indicate someone who uses sex as an addictive escape. Mars and Neptune (in aspect to each other) with one or both in conjunction, trine or sextile to Chiron, can indicate a sexual healer. Chiron represents a personal wound that never heals, but also the potential for profound compassion. If Chiron’s wounds have been confronted, this person can physically manifest its energy as a deep well of passionate, soothing empathy.

Natal Jupiter Aspecting Natal Venus or Mars: Playtime

If you want someone who doesn’t take sex too seriously, this is the playmate for you. Jupiter is the planet of optimism, openness and more of everything. It creates a big appetite for physical passion, but the approach is good-humored. When it aspects Venus, this lover is warm, generous and at ease with themselves. Self-confidence is high, and embarrassing moments are laughed off and viewed with a philosophical shrug. Jupiter square or opposition to Venus can also make these people rather pushy: ready or not, they’re going to give you their love. Jupiter adds vitality when it aspects Mars, creating a rambunctious streak. Here’s a spontaneous lover with energy to burn, as well as the desire for adventurous sex. However, the square, opposition and conjunction can increase Mars’ energy to the point where sex starts to resemble an athletic competition.

Natal Uranus Aspecting Natal Venus or Mars: No Limits

If conventional sex is your speed, this is probably not the lover for you. Uranus’ energy is about rebelling against the rules. When it aspects Venus or Mars, tradition translates to “boring.” Uranus in aspect to Venus can suggest someone who is extremely open-minded about who they are attracted to. No judgments, no restrictions. Rather than manifesting Jupiter’s warmth, someone with Uranus/Venus will be slightly detached. But their independence allows them to take a step back from you, and be open to giving (and receiving) almost anything (especially if it’s new and interesting). Uranus in aspect to Mars can indicate the ultimate sexual risk taker, someone who is led by their impulsive passions. You probably won’t find a more exciting, electric lover. This person gets turned on very quickly, and then anything goes. The conjunction, square or opposition can create irritable restlessness that makes it difficult (but not impossible) for them to remain attracted to the same partner for extended periods of time.

Natal Pluto Aspecting Natal Venus or Mars: Heaven and Hell

You want intensity? Here’s a lover that will curl your toes. Pluto makes Mars’ energy obsessive-compulsive, and adds a smoky sensuality to Venus’ powers of attraction. These people can be fearlessly erotic: they want the dizzying highs, and the crushing lows, that go with all-or-nothing intimacy. Unlike the Uranus folks, their fearlessness is not rooted in detachment. They must feel you at the deepest possible level. “Naked” is not just about the clothes coming off. Sex is taken seriously, and sometimes the act is viewed as a trip that burns them (and you) to the ground, so both partners can be reborn (Pluto’s purpose is to transform). Pluto in aspect to Venus pushes for the soul connection, and the conjunction, opposition and square can indicate an obsessive lover (with easy aspects, there tends to be intensity with less obsession). Pluto in aspect to Mars creates the desire (and capability) for physical extremes. Sometimes the hard aspects can indicate a lover who is driven to perform or overpower.

When looking at how someone approaches sex, their natal Venus and Mars are ground-zero: how they give, receive and view themselves (Venus) and what their sexual instinct is (Mars). You can get more information by analyzing their Black Moon Lilith, Eros and other intriguing points, but the building blocks are Venus and Mars. After taking the aspects into consideration, look at what areas of their life (the houses) those energies are expressed through, and how they’re expressed (the signs). This will give you a pretty clear picture of what goes on behind closed doors.