“You’re just so cold. I can never tell how you feel.”
“Do we have to go to the committee meeting? Can’t we just hang out, just you and me tonight for once?”
“How would I know I’m special? You never say anything, and you spend more time with your friends than with me!”
Oh, the poor lover of the Aquarius type. How do you know where you stand with someone who can come off more like Spock than Don Juan? But wait, before you come to the conclusion that your Aquarius mate (or ex!) is made of wood, let’s take another look at what makes them tick.
First, when I refer to Aquarius type I’m talking about someone who has a lot of personal planets in Aquarius, including Venus, Mars or Moon and possibly also someone with Aquarius on the Ascendant or Descendant. A person born with their Sun in Aquarius (their “sign”) may not behave in relationships as described here, so before you react with, “I’m an Aquarius and not like that at all!” please take note of this.
All About Aquarius
What do we know about Aquarius? First, it is an Air sign. The element of Air is all about the mental realm, the domain of ideas and of communication. It is a fixed sign, stubborn, with a great ability to see things through.
Next, Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, the planet of freedom, change and uniqueness, with an orientation toward the future and unpredictable, sudden action.
Aquarius is also about the group, about friendship, the brotherhood/sisterhood of shared experience, and the universal human needs for freedom and equality (or as the French would say, Liberté, égalité, fraternité. The saying came into vogue around the time of the French revolution and not incidentally, the discovery of the planet Uranus in 1781.)
Aquarius in Partnership
So, Aquarius is concerned with how to apply oneself to the needs of the many, versus the needs of the one. This might result in their partner not feeling particularly special. In the beginning, it’s not uncommon for the Aquarius type to ask you out on a date, only for you to discover that it’s an outing including a bunch of their other friends. But it’s always different and stimulating, right? All those ideas flowing. Aquarius does like to talk and talk and talk about their visions for improving just about everything. And that could include improving you, too. This is one way they show love. Be aware—it is a form of passion.
Since Aquarius lives a majority of their time in the realm of the mind, their thoughts have as much reality to them as the world of sensory experience. As a result, your relationship is a concept that lives in the head. You are there, with them, as if sitting beside them on the couch, even if you’re on the other side of the country. They may be constantly thinking how much they love you, and the experience of thinking that is as real as saying or demonstrating it. So they may not. You must know, after all … because, like most people, they figure you think and feel the same way they do. Thoughts to them are as concrete as the brick wall in your bedroom.
Ever notice you can call an Aquarius friend you haven’t talked to in ten years and the conversation feels like you only saw each other yesterday? It’s because you’re a concept of their mind and never were away. It can also mean that you are idealized, that they never allow themselves to know the real you. Since they are also a fixed sign, they can be very reluctant to let go of anyone. Once they love, they love for keeps.
Aquarius and Emotions
When Aquarius falls in love, it’s likely they’ll be surprised at how the feeling has overtaken them. Emotions are not comfortable for them, so they’ll rationalize the unpleasant ones and translate the positive ones into good works aimed at improving your and (everyone else’s) future. They’ll channel love into being your best friend, the most supportive pal you could ever have. And furthermore, Aquarius will want to share you with the rest of their universe. Just you and them against the world, cocooning in the love nest is not their idea of showing love. Plus, it hits them in the freedom bone, which can easily result in some nasty arguments about how possessive you are and how that’s definitely a no-no. Keep it up if you want them to leave.
However, don’t be surprised when your Aquarius mate suddenly acts out in a jealous rage when at one of the interminable social gatherings someone gives you a tad too much attention. Remember they’re ruled by Uranus, the planet of sudden, radical moves. Aquarius can be quite edgy, with pent-up energy that will suddenly pop out, often shocking themselves. They don’t like to lose their cool, but definitely can.
Though Aquarius can seem emotionally inscrutable, rest assured they do have deep feelings which they may not be fully aware of. They can become engulfed in these feelings when under crisis and really be at a loss as to how to deal with them, since thinking their way out of emotion doesn’t work very well. It can be paralyzing if they don’t have a creative outlet to channel the “excess” feelings into. It is a very sad thing to see how crushed and overwhelmed, drowning in a sea of uncontainable grief, they can be when you decide to call the relationship quits. Often they will have no idea that things were heading towards break-up. “But we’re such best friends! We got along so well! I was always there for you! Why? Why WHY?”
Why? Because you couldn’t feel their style of passion. It was too cool, too spread around, too much you and me as individuals, too brotherly or sisterly, too erratic, too unreasonable, or too cerebral for you.
But, if you value a committed, cool-headed partner who will sometimes surprise you, yet stick with you through thick and thin, respecting your freedom; who’ll be your best friend forever, who you can talk with about anything, everyone and everything; who you can reshape the world with, together, from the universe of your bed to the beyond … well then, you just might want to find yourself an Aquarius type.
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