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Venus is in Scorpio from 9\/23\/16-10\/17\/16. Pluto in Capricorn moves\u00a0direct on September 26, 2016.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n During Pluto and Scorpio times, we\u2019re more susceptible to noticing the subtext<\/em> – what\u2019s below the surface- of our everyday interactions, conversation and encounters with others,\u00a0probably because it\u2019s more imperative that we do so at this time. <\/span> Pluto holds our worst nightmares- pain, trauma, abandonment, fears – based in past wounds we\u2019ve incurred, and the defenses to feeling those.\u00a0When\u00a0our\u00a0unconscious bubbles\u00a0up into\u00a0daily life, it’s so we can see what\u2019s been hiding there, holding our life energy hostage.<\/p>\n Yet, there is no planet, besides Saturn, more keenly interested in staying in control and keeping its perceived survival threats at bay than Pluto. So here\u2019s the Pluto conundrum: How do I soothe my hurt places and fears while staying in control\u00a0and ensuring my survival? This is one of the more unsavory sides of Pluto…<\/p>\n Emotional blackmail is a very real Plutonic\u00a0strategy. Emotional blackmail is\u00a0when someone uses fear<\/em>, obligation<\/em> or guilt<\/em> to attempt to control another.<\/strong> The acronym is F.O.G.,\u00a0for the way it obscures the truth of the situation and scrambles our thoughts.<\/strong> Ironically, it\u2019s a misguided attempt to get something that’s often legitimate (support, reassurance, love, safety, etc.), from another. It’s just ruthless in its insensitivity to others’ needs and desires.\u00a0\u00a0Small children are amazingly effective at emotional blackmail. The term itself was first used to describe a problematic way teachers tried to control a classroom of children (Wiki).<\/p>\n \u201cThe person who is acting in a controlling way often wants something from the other person that is legitimate to want. They may want to feel loved, safe, valuable, appreciated, supported, needed, etc. This is not the problem. The problem is often more a matter of how they are going about getting what they want\u2026\u201d – Emotional Blackmail, Wikipedia<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The essence of the strategy is trying to get someone (you) to take responsibility for my pain, emotions or situation.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re extremely sensitive to energy\u00a0that\u2019s an especially tricky request, as\u00a0you\u2019re particularly vulnerable because you\u00a0feel other people\u2019s feelings as yours. For instance, if you feel fear, I\u00a0may\u00a0feel that\u00a0fear as mine\u00a0and if I am not\u00a0conscious of this<\/em>\u00a0will probably do everything in my power to help us both get rid of the fear. To that end, maybe I agree to do something you ask me to do that I don\u2019t really want to agree to (and end up feeling manipulated). Maybe I take responsibility for your emotions, because I feel them as my own, thus allowing you to discharge your stuff onto me and not deal with your own feelings. Maybe I hear the undertone of blame and guilt in your voice, and that causes me to doubt myself, my own motives, confidence. That\u2019s how easy it is to get roped into this dynamic.<\/p>\n If this sounds familiar, here are a few things I\u2019ve learned over the years.<\/p>\n My point with #3 is, just because you’re experiencing this with another\u00a0doesn’t mean you are responsible for\u00a0its occurrence.<\/p>\n And no matter how guilty, obligated, confused we feel in that moment, we always\u00a0have a choice how to respond! We don’t have to take the bait, emotionally, energetically or materially — even if\u00a0we promise something we didn’t mean to, we can go back and correct our self.<\/p>\n Some of us are apt to experience emotional blackmail more\u00a0often because a) we first encountered\u00a0this in our family of origin;\u00a0we’re familiar and resonate with it\u00a0b) we’re sensitive to energy and\/or c)\u00a0we’re healers. Healers, by design, are here to transmute energy. We are meant to\u00a0notice all the nuances of what’s happening, so we can transmute it —without taking it on <\/em>(the subject of future articles).<\/p>\n Those\u00a0with strong Pluto and Scorpio in their natal charts are susceptible to this dynamic, and whether they are on the receiving or giving end depends on the rest of the chart, how sensitive or defended it appears, and how self-aware the person is.<\/p>\n In my experience, there are so many\u00a0people who unconsciously use this strategy,\u00a0so\u00a0it’s best to have a game plan for when you encounter it. And there’s really no ultimate protection against feeling hurt or disrespected when someone does\u00a0FOG on us. It\u00a0can be\u00a0painful to be treated insensitively, to feel\u00a0used, inappropriately blamed, or even to be attempted to be manipulated. Even if you are able to see it all clearly, and not take it on,\u00a0you will likely still have feelings about it.\u00a0But know that\u00a0whoever is using fear, obligation or guilt\u00a0is actually\u00a0in a lot of pain. There’s a lot of hurt inside there and (unless you’re their parent and they’re your\u00a0kid)\u00a0it’s\u00a0not your responsibility!<\/p>\n Finally, if\u00a0you are\u00a0trying to control situations and people with your conditions and requirements, look\u00a0underneath the\u00a0behavior and voice your vulnerabilities and fears.<\/strong>\u00a0 Maybe what you really\u00a0want is another’s sympathy, affection, reassurance or understanding – all legitimate-\u00a0but you\u00a0cannot ever\u00a0really\u00a0and truly\u00a0<\/em>attain those things\u00a0by strong-arming others into doing what you want them to do. Stop\u00a0and\u00a0reflect on what you really need. It’s time to stop reacting out of fear, and move towards self-love. It’s time to find a new way to finally get what you need.<\/p>\n The post Pluto & Emotional Blackmail<\/a> appeared first on Moonkissd by Jessica<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Venus is in Scorpio from 9\/23\/16-10\/17\/16. Pluto in Capricorn moves direct on September 26, 2016. During Pluto and Scorpio times, we’re more susceptible to noticing the subtext – what’s below the surface- of our everyday interactions, conversation and encounters with others, probably because it’s more imperative that we do so at this time. Pluto holds our worst […]<\/p>\n The post Pluto & Emotional Blackmail<\/a> appeared first on Moonkissd by Jessica<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n
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