It may be there for a long while. Expecting this to change, I\u2019ve learned, is not realistic for me.
\n***<\/p>\n
Ghosting is disappearing from a connection without explanation. And, it is a type of energy.<\/strong><\/p>\n I have plenty of casual friends with whom we can go for months without replying to an email, and that feels natural and right, because we both pick it up again, eventually. That\u2019s not ghosting. Mysteriously dropping the ball feels different. You know it when you know it- the feeling of it. Whether they are doing this unconsciously or not, doesn\u2019t matter; what matters is how you feel.<\/em><\/p>\n For me, when I reach out to a person who I feel is a potential friend, or ally, and they are enthusiastically warm and responsive and then they go cold and silent, this can trigger confusion, sadness, self-doubt.<\/p>\n It can trigger feelings of not feeling valued enough by the other to be replied, or responded to.<\/em> Because that\u2019s where it lands for me. Why am I writing about this now?<\/p>\n People drop the ball. People don\u2019t reply, they don\u2019t communicate. They get busy, distracted. Or, maybe they no longer resonate with the plans they once made with you. They ghost you.<\/p>\n They make plans to talk or connect, then drop the connection, for no good reason. And I\u2019m tired of how I feel about it. <\/em>Even though lighter and less than ever before, even a pinprick hurts.<\/p>\n Maybe because I am experiencing my Chiron Return (Chiron natally squares my Venus in Cancer, and conjoins my 7th house Aries Moon<\/a>); I want what I want from my personal relationships. I don’t want to suffer. I also know that it\u2019s up to me to make this happen.<\/p>\n I want (and need) to feel a sense of control around this. When there\u2019s an open-ended invitation that is not responded to, I feel like my boundary has a hole in it -literally; a gaping wide-open hole that anyone can walk through. This leaves me feeling totally out of my power.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s what I\u2019ve decided to do: Create a boundary, for myself. I give all open-ended communications 2 weeks to reach their natural conclusion, at which time, if I don\u2019t hear back, I will take the initiative to say something, like \u201cI haven\u2019t heard back from you, so let\u2019s connect at another time. xx\u201d Lovingly, naturally. I am not doing this for them, or demanding: valuation, respect, a response. I am staying out of their business. I am doing this for me. I am closing the loop, I am giving myself closure.<\/strong><\/em> I am creating my own boundary.<\/strong><\/p>\n Because I deserve this. I deserve to feel good. And my vulnerability to the feelings that this ongoing experience can create deserves my respect, and my care.<\/em> Don\u2019t I wish other people would just be straightforward, clear and honest?! YES!!! Sure, I do!!!<\/p>\n Not everyone is capable of that.<\/p>\n But you know what? I love learning how to BE my own best friend. I love figuring out how to do this.<\/p>\n *** He has been going through a trying work-relationship thing. Although, technically, others have the power to do so, I could tell no one was able to capably respond.<\/em> I said: “Let’s say that even though they should, they aren’t capable of responding to this for you. You need to create a strategy for yourself.” We came up with something. He did it, and he surprised everyone. He’s feeling freer and lighter.<\/p>\n After he thanked me for giving him that key, he came up with this idea to create closure for myself (yes, I am also married to my best friend :)).<\/p>\n I know that it\u2019s popular to rant, hold inflexible opinions, and try to get other people to change. That doesn\u2019t do anything for me. What does, always, is bringing it back to ME, 100%. I resonate with what the SUPPORT card says, (from my Intuitive Energy Deck guidebook<\/a>):<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026At day\u2019s end, it is not their job to figure out how to support us. It is ours. And the particular way others do not appear to support you truly serves to point out where you are not supporting yourself.\u201d –Support Card, from the Intuitive Energy Divination Deck<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n This about sums up my approach in all of my relationships. Unlike complaining, it is empowering, and it ALWAYS works.<\/p>\n image: Kintsugi Heart by Addi Miyako<\/a><\/p>\n The post I’ve Been Ghosted<\/a> appeared first on Jessica Shepherd<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019ve been ghosted, and I am finally ready to write about it. Long before this term became popular, or I knew what it meant\u2026I was hurt in this way. We were best friends. Close. We had been in one another\u2019s pockets. Then, one day, nothing. And nothing, for weeks, and then for months. To be [\u2026]<\/p>\n The post I\u2019ve Been Ghosted<\/a> appeared first on Jessica Shepherd<\/a>.<\/p>\n
\n***<\/p>\n
\nI don\u2019t know about you, but it happens for me -quite a bit.<\/p>\n
\nI also love discovering new strategies that put my power back into my own hands…and my husband actually helped me with this one.<\/p>\n\n
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